


though i cannot see, i can hear her smile as she sings

by wolfchester



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Gen, aka i make myself Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 06:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6041454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han's thoughts in his moments before death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	though i cannot see, i can hear her smile as she sings

The last thing Han Solo touches is the side of his son’s face.

His son. His one and only son. His smart son. His handsome son. His talented, troubled, misguided son.

_Ben._

Kylo Ren is not who is son was. _Is._ Han Solo’s son is named Ben. He is kind, and he is cheeky, and he learnt how to walk before he was nine months old. He has dark hair that has never, not once, stayed in place when his mother tried to slick it down before sending him off to school. He loves his toy X-Wing Fighter and always said that he wanted to fly one of them one day, just like his Uncle Luke.

The young man who stands in front of Han now, hand gripping the hilt of a double-edged red lightsaber that is now punctured through the chest of his father - this is not his son. Yet, as Han Solo breathes his last breaths, he looks into the dark eyes of this young man and sees a tiny sliver of glowing yellow light.

(He will turn out okay. Han is sure of it.)

Han’s mind then flits to the face of a woman he so loves. Ben’s mother. Leia.

Beautiful Leia. Strong Leia. Taker-of-no-shit Leia. Packs-a-hard-punch Leia. Soft, sweet, gorgeous Leia. The mother of his child. The love of his life. His better half.

It occurs to Han Solo that he will never see the face of his wife ever again. It also occurs to him that he wants to. _God,_ he wants to.

They may have been at odds for years and years, ever since Ben turned and perhaps before that. It had always been like that with the two of them. Giving and taking. Pushing back against each other. Fighting and yelling and screaming and _loving_. They did that part well, at least. Loving each other. That was the one thing they were good at.

Han and Leia may never have been cut out for marriage, or parenthood for that matter. But they were sure good at just pure _loving_ each other.

And now, he will never get to see her again. He will never get to say that he was sorry for running off and never coming back. He will never get to say that he loves her, one last time. He will never get to kiss her or touch her or tell her how much in awe he is of her. Never again.

The last thing Han Solo touches is the side of his son’s face.

And then he is falling, falling, fall-


End file.
